Tulsa, OK

We had a great Christmas this year. Santa scored big. Everybody got what they wanted, and then some. The kids both got new bikes from Santa. Although the girl seems to think hers is an accessory instead of a toy. She asked us if she could, ” just stand next to it?” She was all for taking pictures of her and her new bike, but no way did she want to ride it. That was just crazy of us, to expect her to actually ride that thing.

Morgan got the pc game he wanted, plus a new PS2 game, clothes, books, and the Transformers movie on dvd. He loved his new bike, even if it took James and I an hour to assemble it. Who knew hand brakes were such a pain?

James got a massaging seat cushion, the kind you can use in your car. But he was nice and left it on a chair here at the house so that Mom and I can use it. Wasn’t that nice? Morgan gave him a cool poster of Smaug and Bilbo from The Hobbit. I gave him a video game that we all wound up playing until 11 last night. Well, all except Mom, she doesn’t do video games. Maegan did really well, and both of the boys were very nice to her. It was nice to have everyone getting along that well while playing. It made a nice change from the usual video game spats.

Mom got several new (and one really old) Santas for her collection. Scott scored big this year with Mom. He found this Viggo Mortensen book that she’s been really wanting. I’m sure that cost him. I wish I’d had a video camera so he could see Mom’s face when she realized what Scott’s gift was. Priceless.

I got several books I wanted. Santa got me several things that I needed and wanted. I got a great lasagna pan, so I can toss the cheap, bent piece of crap I’ve been having to use. We’ll all enjoy that lasagna pan. Four of us got mp3 players, too. The boy didn’t take five minutes to have his loaded and playing. I have to get mine and James set today. James was a little disappointed that I didn’t get around to it yesterday. But, between visiting, cooking, assembling bikes, and helping the kids with their stuff, there just was not enough time yesterday. I could barely keep my eyes open playing that video game with them all last night.

All in all, it was a pretty great day. Lots of good cheer around here. Everybody was happy, the food was great and plentiful, company was enjoyable and the day just could not have gone better. A big thanks to Santa and everyone else who helped to make this a very merry Christmas indeed. I hope everyone had one just as nice.

I’ve always liked the idea of homeschooling. When my son was born it just wasn’t an option. I was a single mom without the time, money or resources that I felt would be necessary to homeschool. Then, when Maegan was born, I did seriously consider it. I was a stay-at-home mom already, and with some computer and internet experience, I realized that homeschooling might be easier than I had previously imagined. But, my husband and his sister ( a public school teacher) insisted that the socialization the kids would get in public school was a vital necessity to their well-being. So, I let the idea go.

For Morgan, it has paid off. He’s been in the GATES (gifted and talented enrichment studies) program here in Catoosa almost since we moved here when he was in fourth grade. He recently received an invitation from Duke University to take either his SAT or ACT test early (he’s in seventh grade). Apparently, he scored so well on the state’s standardized tests that they feel he should take the college entrance exams early. Depending on his score on the test (he’ll take the ACT) he may be invited to Duke next summer. We are very proud of him.

Maegan, on the other hand, is having a much more difficult time with public school. No doubt due to her ADHD. The school’s here in Catoosa are good, and her school counselor is wonderful. But, some small part of me still wonders if she might be better off at home with me.

Summer over at Mom Is Teaching sent me a link to this article at Tulsa Kids, Un-School Days by Cindy Webb. After reading the article, I’m even more convinced that public schooling may not be the right choice for Maegan. Now I just have to convince everyone else. Wish me luck. And thanks Summer for the link.

homeschooling, GATES, unschooling, public schools, stay-at-home mom, Tulsa Kids, Mom Is Teaching

Still no news on Maegan’s ADHD medicine. I dropped the prescription off Monday, called yesterday, and the pharmacist still hadn’t heard from the Doctor or DHS. Its seriously disheartening, when you consider I took her to the first doctor for ADHD evaluation a month and a half ago.

I’m still sick with whatever bug I picked up from the kids, weeks ago. Of course, all the daily stress I’m dealing with lately doesn’t really help. Poverty sucks, I don’t care what country you live in these days.

James still hasn’t made September’s house payment, and Mom went berserk this morning. It isn’t like I have any say in what bills James pays first. And he has paid all the other bills for this month. But our monthly expenses are around 1700 and James only brings in about 1200, so things are going to fall behind. Mom knew that when she lost her job at Dollar/Thrifty and decided to apply for disability. If we’re lucky, she’ll get a check from SSI by January, until then, we just have to do the best we can.

I’m just sick of being in the middle. James complains about having to pay for everything, not having enough to pay for everything, and being constantly broke. Mom complains about , well pretty much everything about James. They’re giving me an ulcer. It’s not like I have any power here. Honestly, if it weren’t for the kids, I’d leave. One way or the other. Really, what person in their right mind would live in such a toxic environment? On a really bad day, I think about which brother I want to raise my kids. Then I remind myself that that isn’t fair to anyone (Although, Suzi might like to have a red-haired daughter) especially the kids.

Damn, I need to stop feeling sorry for myself now, and get some shit done around here. Don’t worry, I’ll be back tomorrow.

Mom has two doctor’s appointments today. Social Security is sending her to it’s drs to verify her disability claim.  Of course, it’s most likely to deny her claim, but one should try to be hopeful. I’ll let you know how it goes tomorrow.

Maegan has her second appointment with her ADHD therapist today. I’ve been doing quite a bit of reading online, and have a bunch of questions to ask this time.  I’m still not convinced medication is the best choice for Maegan, and I’m hoping the Dr will have some suggestions.

I know he likes the biofeedback stuff, unfortunately, he can’t get the insurance companies to pay him for that. I’m hoping he’ll agree with me on allergy testing and that together we can get her pediatrician to sign off on the testing. It seems to make more sense to test for any allergies before doing any drastic dietary changes. No point in making her give up milk and cheese if she doesn’t actually have a problem with it. Apparently some ADHD symptoms are actually food sensitivities or allergies. Might as well eliminate that possibility before starting Maegan on  stimulants.

I also want to talk to him about family behavioral therapy. I think it’s a good idea to make sure everyone is working from the same playbook when it comes to working with Maegan. I know that with 3 adults in the house, Maegan does get some inconsistency in the rules and discipline department. James is a brick wall, and Mom is a jellyfish (with occasional brick wall tendencies), and I’m consistently torn between the two. {lol, even if it isn’t really funny.}

On the positive side, I have found tons of information online. Including several books that I’m looking forward to getting from the library. Thank god we have such an excellent library system here.

After Maegan’s appointment tomorrow, I need to call her school and set up meetings with her teacher and the school counselor to discuss Maegan’s diagnosis and get any input they may have. The best thing for Maegan seems to be having a team working on improving her situation. As Mom, I get to be team leader and coordinate the efforts of her teachers and doctors, as well as our family.

Just when you think parenting can’t get any harder, it does. They’re worth it though.

ADHD, therapist, dr, treatment, books, teachers, counselors, testing, allergy, diet, teamwork

Mom and Morgan started home Saturday morning after several delays from their originally planned Wednesday departure. Then, after driving for hours from Chris and Suzi’s place in Ohio to somewhere in Missouri, the car fell apart and left them stranded.

Fortunately, Chris and Suzi have AAA coverage that got Mom and Morgan a tow to a Days Inn and the mechanic needed to get the car repaired. They did have to spend Sunday stranded at the Days Inn in Rolla, Mo. Not that Morgan minded having to stay where there’s a pool. At least they weren’t stuck on the side of the road until one of my brothers could get there.

Hopefully, the mechanic will have them on the road again sometime today (Monday). Morgan’s school schedule is available for pickup tomorrow and his open house is Wednesday. I could pick up the schedule without him, but I’m pretty sure he wants to be here for the open house. It gives him a chance to meet his teachers and get a feel for the new year’s schedule/routine.

roadtrip, Ohio, Missouri, Oklahoma, Days Inn, mechanic, car trouble, school

That is such a terrible thing to say as a parent. Unfortunately, it seems to be too true to ignore. Maybe it’s just that she’s only six, but I really thought she should be showing some signs of empathy by now. She doesn’t. Not at all. Maybe it’s ADD or ADHD, which seem to have reached epidemic proportions in our country. Whatever the problem is, it really worries me.

A certain amount of selfishness is to be expected from young children. But at what point does that natural self-focus turn into an unhealthy self-absorbtion? I am concerned with the increasing numbers of sociopaths running rampant in our society. I don‘t want to be raising one. And if I am, is there anything that I,as a parent, can do to change it?

There seems to be as much evidence for the nature argument as there is for the nurture side. I’m sure we’ve all read the stories about serial killers that just seemed bad from birth. But, there are also people whose lives turned them into psychotic killers. How do you know though? Is every kid that likes to torment the family pets doomed to be a Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahmer or Charles Manson? Or was there something their families could have/should have done to stop the terrifying course their lives would take? Was there a defining moment in their lives where things could have gone differently? How do you recognize those moments in your own life and the lives of those you love?

I certainly don’t have the answers, and I’m not sure that anyone does. But burying our heads in the sand and ignoring the increasing numbers of antisocial people is unlikely to solve the problem. I guess all you can do is pay attention to them, show them through your own behaviour what is and is not acceptable, love them and hope for the best.

ADD, ADHD, sociopaths, Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahmer, Charles Manson, pets, evil, selfish, anti-social, nature vs. nurture, empathy

My sister in law, Suzi, read my blog entry from July 12th and thought I was bitching about her and my brother Chris. I was bitching about Chris, but, Chris and Mom not Chris and Suzi. Mom and Chris are always making/changing plans and then they don’t tell me until the last minute. Chris and Mom know that drives me crazy (I know short drive, haha). I totally stress-out and get super anxious when things get sprung on me. No surprise parties for me, thank you.

Anyway, back to the point. Suzi, I am very sorry for hurting your feelings. I was SO not aiming any of that at you, just venting a little anxious Mom/Chris steam. I do appreciate everything you’ve done to help us and how hard you work taking care of your own family. Thank you for all that, too.

I know we seemed all right after we talked on the phone, but, it was a public statement on my part that upset you, so, I though a public apology was in order. Again, I am so sorry for hurting your feelings, Suzi.