Tulsa, OK

Still no news on Maegan’s ADHD medicine. I dropped the prescription off Monday, called yesterday, and the pharmacist still hadn’t heard from the Doctor or DHS. Its seriously disheartening, when you consider I took her to the first doctor for ADHD evaluation a month and a half ago.

I’m still sick with whatever bug I picked up from the kids, weeks ago. Of course, all the daily stress I’m dealing with lately doesn’t really help. Poverty sucks, I don’t care what country you live in these days.

James still hasn’t made September’s house payment, and Mom went berserk this morning. It isn’t like I have any say in what bills James pays first. And he has paid all the other bills for this month. But our monthly expenses are around 1700 and James only brings in about 1200, so things are going to fall behind. Mom knew that when she lost her job at Dollar/Thrifty and decided to apply for disability. If we’re lucky, she’ll get a check from SSI by January, until then, we just have to do the best we can.

I’m just sick of being in the middle. James complains about having to pay for everything, not having enough to pay for everything, and being constantly broke. Mom complains about , well pretty much everything about James. They’re giving me an ulcer. It’s not like I have any power here. Honestly, if it weren’t for the kids, I’d leave. One way or the other. Really, what person in their right mind would live in such a toxic environment? On a really bad day, I think about which brother I want to raise my kids. Then I remind myself that that isn’t fair to anyone (Although, Suzi might like to have a red-haired daughter) especially the kids.

Damn, I need to stop feeling sorry for myself now, and get some shit done around here. Don’t worry, I’ll be back tomorrow.